Daydreaming in the middle of Environmental Science class, I started looking at Mr. Scott’s head and wondered, ‘I wonder if his head feels like my knee. Does he wax it? What’s it like to feel your head without hair on it? Are bald heads high maintenance?’ What was an unremarkable APES lab became the beginning of a deep personal fascination: the mysteries of baldness.
Despite eagerness to experience such a wonder myself, I feel unusually reluctant to pull up to the SportsClips and get my head ‘egg-ified.’ Krishna Garr, Ensworth graduate of 2022 and current College of Charleston student, famously sported a bald head in middle school. I’ve never been so in awe of another person’s swagger in my life. I really wanted to ask what she did to make her head shine so much, but there are questions even interested parties cannot ask of one another. While I am incredibly tempted to follow in her footsteps, I can’t imagine my life without my bangs. How would I live? Moreover, the risks and expense involved in going ‘all the way’ give me pause. According to Matt [last name redacted] from Baldandhappy.com, he testifies that while worth it for him, “Waxing your head can be painful, because there’s lots of nerve endings in your scalp. This means it is sensitive to the process of ripping out hundreds of hairs at once. Everyone’s pain threshold is different, but it’s likely to hurt more than, say, waxing your legs,” (Matt). I cry when I wax my legs. Yeesh.
Regardless, sometimes you gotta go out on a limb and try something out. Tell you what, if anyone not on the Newspaper team reads this and pays me $20 for the cut, I’ll do it on the spot.
- Parker Stack, Editor