Student Spotlight: Alaena Smith, 26
I have a distinct memory of being in second grade and sitting neatly in a circle around the carpet while my teacher talked to the class about something. I was playing with my hair, throwing it in front of my face and then brushing it out with my fingers. I didn’t realize it at the time, but what my teacher got mad at me for doing–playing with my hair–was actually a form of stimming. Stimming, the repetition of sounds, movements, and words as a way to self-soothe is very common among autistic people (Benisek). As a child, my autism went unnoticed due to my people-pleasing behaviors, good grades, and work ethic. My autism symptoms don’t line up with the traditional behaviors of autism, but many kids with more “traditional” autism symptoms are subjected to applied behavioral analysis therapy (ABA) as a way to help with their symptoms.
ABA therapy is a one-on-one style therapy meant to help children with autism develop the social and emotional skills which they often lack (“Applied Behavioral Analysis”). Applied behavioral analysis therapy uses positive reinforcement to help autistic children gain social, emotional, communication skills that can be very beneficial in helping them be more independent and find their place in the world. Research has even shown that 40-50% of children with autism who go through ABA therapy can return to the traditional classroom setting with enough intervention (Walsh). Although, there are still a few fatal flaws with ABA therapy.
When my second grade teacher called me out all that time ago for “playing with my hair” I quickly became much more aware of when I was doing so. Anytime I felt the urge to throw my hair in front of my face and brush it out once more, I quickly stopped and forced myself to stay, still despite the constant urge to fidget in my seat. It proved impossible to force stillness every waking second of the day, but I continued to try and suppress my stims. Forcing children to stay still and suppress parts of themselves, usually by implicitly causing children to mask, is exactly what ABA therapy does. Some even describe ABA therapy as similar to training a dog, giving them treats when they do as told and withholding treats when they don’t. This process is supposed to help children make positive connections with socially acceptable behaviors, but people often don’t understand that. Autism is a disability, and with that, it is impossible to truly erase all autistic traits from a person. Furthermore, why would you want to? You wouldn’t try to tell somebody who is paralyzed that they need to walk, because it is the socially acceptable behavior, as that is something they physically can’t change about themselves.
Yes, life is harder for autistic people, because they don’t always understand how to act in social situations, but forcing children to suppress their responses and mask their autistic traits will end up leaving them worse off in the long run. Ari Ne’eman, president and co-founder of the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network argues, “We’re sometimes leaving children more controllable but worse off than they were before” (Garey). ABA therapy teaches children to mask their autism rather than curing it, and masking causes intense emotional distress and exhaustion (“Masking”). Masking impacts autistic people by making them more prone to meltdowns and shutdowns, leading to mental health difficulties, causing burnout, causing feelings of isolation, and other negative psychological effects. Children who go through ABA therapy often do act better in social situations, but not because they have genuinely learned. Rather, they are scared of behaving in a way that they have been told by the adults in their life is wrong.
The reality of ABA therapy is much darker than it appears on the surface. It is understandable for parents to want to help their children be more independent and better understand how to navigate the world around them, but the way to do this isn’t by teaching your child to be someone they aren’t. I work everyday to try to mask less and be a more authentic version of myself without worrying what others think, and I hope that more autistic children will have the opportunity to be themselves like I try to. Parenting an autistic child is not easy whatsoever, and at times, it can feel hopeless watching your child meltdown and hurt themself out of distress. Except, ABA therapy is not the answer. Instead, I suggest a simple alternative: listening to your child and loving them every step of the way. Love and understanding are powerful tools in helping everyone feel comfortable to be their most authentic selves.